On Saturday, March 5, 2011, I am going to do something I have never done before. I am going to purposely miss an episode of Saturday Night Live. Why you ask. Because after a strong season, Lorne Michaels has decided to appeal to a younger crowd, many of which SNL is past their bedtime. Yes, Miley Cyrus is hosting Saturday Night Live. As I was watching the most recent episode, hosted beautifully by Russell Brand, Don Pardo announced that Miley Cyrus would be hosting on March 5. I then dramatically held my arms out and asked “WHY?” Yes, I’m biased, I don’t like most of the stars Disney has crapped out in the past ten years, but, as a guilty pleasure, I enjoy watching it. However, I extremely doubt Miley Cyrus has the chops to host SNL, and she will likely bring it down from its strong season.
If you don’t know who Miley Cyrus is, she is the meal ticket—I mean daughter of one-hit wonder Billy Ray Cyrus. Miley is infamous for starring in Disney’s messed up version of the 1980s animated series Jem, Hannah Montana. Miley is responsible for ushering in Disney’s non-progressive, purity, subliminally conservative and Christian values, and wearing a bad wig. She is also infamous for her off set controversy including dating a 25 year old man while she was still underage, being photographed naked by decorated and talented photographer Annie Leibovitz amidst controversy, and then shifting the blame to Ann herself, reported diva behavior, an infamous racist photograph, performing on a stripper pole at the Teen Choice Awards, and most recently, smoking salvia and immediately experiencing a placebo effect in which she started talking like a gerbil. Most recently, her father has regretted his decision of allowing Miley to go Hollywood, and regrets his permissive parenting style, claiming the whole Hannah Montana experience ruined his family.
Miley’s tenure at Disney is officially over. This means she is trying to be a grown-up and shed her Disney image. While this has worked beautifully for Shia LeBeouf, Hillary Duff, and most recently Zack Efron (who beautifully hosted SNL in 2009). However, Cyrus is choosing the blatantly easier route, attempting to act like a grown-up, and trying to get parts that, no offence, are a little bit out of her league.
Miley’s performance on Hannah Montana as a fictionalized version of herself is average, with some attempts to be funny. Some working, others not. But can she do this live, after a grueling work and rehearsal week, in a performance lasting an hour and a half?
Her appearance is not without controversy, and this will lead probably to a tension-filled and awkward night. As well, this will coincide with increasingly strong performance of new featured performer Vanessa Bayer, who is becoming known for her spot-on impersonation of Cyrus. This appearance is too soon, and it is usually better for it to go on for another season before Cyrus’s appearance.
The performance will likely go either one of these ways.
1. Miley is surprisingly good.
2. Miley is reported acting like a diva behind the scenes (a la Lindsay Lohan)
3. Miley attempts to preach to the audience about her own beliefs, causing an extremely wholesome show.
4. The show will rely on the talents of the castmembers, instead of Miley.
5. There will be a large number of musical sketches in which Miley will sing.
6. Miley will ruin SNL’s momentum.
Now, I might be surprised, but I am not taking any chances. SNL is a big kids’ show, not for the Disney crowd. I can’t watch an attempt at trying to appeal for a younger audience, and as well a performance for a star famous for being on a second-rated kids’ show, and who is poorly attempting to shed her Disney image.
I started watching SNL in 2003, and in the spirit of bracing myself for Cyrus’s hosting SNL, I am reminded of the other horrible hosts I have endured. Who knows? Miley may surprise me—but I’m not taking any chances.
Worst snl hosts from 2003 onwards.
2003 was when I started watching SNL.
Donald Trump-okay, we get it, the apprentice is popular, but you have no stage presence and play yourself in almost every sketch. SNL was riding on Apprentice fever. As well, Trump mainly played himself, which is usually a sign of a less than versatile host.
Paris Hilton-Her appearance in the 2003 season was great. She appeared in the Al Sharpton episode during Update, after the sex tape scandal when Jimmy Fallon asked her if he could get into the “Paris Hilton”. That was funny, but hosting a whole show, for someone who has had little stage experience, nor talent, that’s a pretty hard task. Some have pulled it off, but Paris hasn’t. The sketches were mainly derived off of Paris’s looks and status, and Hilton’s wooden performance didn’t help those weak sketches at all.
Lindsay Lohan-This wasn’t her performance during the 2003-2004 season. That was hilarious. This is her burn-out performance during the 2004-2005 season, and the 2005-2006 season. By the last time she hosted, she had a smoker’s voice, and really wasn’t there. What’s funny, is that she didn’t get the irony about her during her last two hosting gigs. During her last hosting gig, there was behind the scenes drama as Lohan was repeatedly late for rehearsals. This evidently rubbed off into the performance of the actual show.
LeBron James-this became a trend in bad season premiere guests. He hosted the 2007 season premire, and his performance was wooden.
Michael Phelps-Bad season premire host, round 2. You should start your season up with a bang, not a host who couldn’t read his lines with emotion. Once again, wooden performance.
The Jonas Brothers-Okay, they weren’t hosting the 2009 Valentine’s day episode with Alec Baldwin, but they were the musical guests. And they took this as a chance to get on their soapbox, and talk about their whole wholesome lifestyle. SNL is a big kids’ show, Jo-Bros, and the only people who are allowed to be preachy are when politicians come on during elections, which is a great PR stunt. Last time I checked, you were a wannabe rock band. Also no one upstages one of SNLs go-to hosts unless you are an extremely successful musician, like Paul McCartney in the early 90s, or a special guest. And if they were going to do a sketch, it would have been better to do it later into the show, as the first post-monologue sketch usually cements the host’s performance for the evening, and introduces them into the sketches.
Megan Fox: One of my friends, who is a huge Megan Fox fan is going to kill me for this. In the 2009 season opener, Megan Fox surprised many, despite her sultry looks and sex appeal, she couldn’t generate any comedic appeal, although most of the sketches she was in capitalized on her sexiness.
January Jones- You’re on an Emmy Award winning TV show, yet your performance reminded me of those speakable items on old macs, where you would type stuff in and it would say it. Once again, the sketches revolved around January’s looks, and really had no substance. But, like Fox, she didn’t truly get in the spirit and satire of those sketches.
The people are mostly on this list for a wooden performance, and relying too much on the cast, and not being in the true SNL spirit.
So brace yourself for a hit or miss episode of SNL this Saturday. Me? Well, it is Unofficial.
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